“I’ve just got SO much to do!”…….sound familiar?
Saying no can be really hard….but sometimes you just need to.
I don’t know if you are anything like me, but I find it incredibly difficult to say no to people. There are several reasons for this; I am flattered to be asked, I enjoy helping other people, and finally I just struggle to find the words to say no, fearing I am going to upset somebody. The result of this is that I end up with too much to do in too little time, running around like a headless chicken, a seemingly endless list of ‘must do today’s’ and feeling resentful towards those who I am trying to help. This happens as much in my personal life as when dealing with work and that can end up compromising time with my family not to mention any valuable ‘me’ time disappearing!
Sometimes it seems like the easiest solution is to just say yes, but if you think about it rationally, will your life, or that of the person asking, suddenly grind to a halt if you say no?
So how DO you say no? Next time you are asked to help with something, or do something for someone else, instead of your usual ‘Yes, of course’, try a new line;
- ‘I’d like to but I already have made a commitment to something else at that time, maybe another time I will be able to….’
- ‘No I can’t help you with that, but I know somebody who may be able to…..’
- ‘Can I let you know tomorrow, I must check with my family/partner/diary first’
- ‘Yes, but it will have to be tomorrow/next week/on Thursday….’
Saying no, or yes but on your terms, gives you back more control over the extra tasks you take on,. And maybe once you stop being such an easy ‘yes person’ people will stop being so reliant on you being the one who always says yes.