by Sheryl Andrews
Do you notice patterns in your behaviour?
Do you find yourself saying “I have been here before”?
Or have your heard yourself say “I have said that before”?
These patterns are the clues of how you do you at your best and of course quite possibly at your worst!
When you become more aware of your own language and communication patterns you can begin to recognise what works for you personally and what doesn’t.
What difference does knowing that make, you may ask?
Well the biggest difference is that you will understand what you need to work at your best and you will have the knowledge and insight to know how to educate others to get the best out of you.
When you are more aware of your own patterns you can also become much more mindful of how others need you to be for them to work at your best.
Take this blog for example. Shaun and I co-write much of our work because he is able to write in short clear concise sentences whereas I get carried away and pour my heart out on the page. If he starts with a short clear framework of an idea, I can add the detail around it and ‘Voila’ we have a written piece of work in just 15 minutes whereas when I write on my own it can take me hours to write.
Another pattern we often support our clients to recognise and overcome is this one,
Can you relate to this example?
You have a meeting with someone, you do a lot of talking at the meeting and feel really great that you have expressed yourself well and everyone else is nodding and agreeing. You leave excited that they will go away and do something with the knowledge you just shared. Whether that is your partner, your client or a team member
Then ….nothing happens or at least not the something you expected.
How does that leave you feeling?
Then what happens?
If this sounds all too familiar consider asking yourself the following questions:
When you have a meeting and it works and they do take the action you expected afterwards what kind of meeting is that?
What is happening in that meeting and after that tells you it worked?
Don’t worry if you can’t answer the question straight away just notice over the next few weeks what is happening when it works, start to collect a database of your own communication patterns that work for you.
If you suddenly become aware it never works then ask yourself when it is like that what would you like to have happen?
Or if a meeting could be just the way you would like it to be it would like what?
Please do share any communication patterns you notice whether that is in yourself or others. Sometimes it is easier to notice when others are getting it right or wrong because you can see and hear it from a different perspective.
Co- written by Sheryl Andrews Founder and Power Group Facilitator
Shaun Webb Business Development Manager
Step by Step Listening
Helping Family Business Grow and Have More Fun