Recently in The Times the weekend section was titled “Who needs Nintendo? How to have an Enid Blyton summer” and was full of some great articles by people like Dr. Tanya Byron and Chris Packham about putting the fun and freedom back into children’s outdoors experience and the value of unsupervised and unstructured play where imaginations as well as bodies could run free.
As well as some interesting discussion in our household it also made me think about what I did as a child and what I am prepared to let my own children do. In many ways it is not a fair comparison as I grew up in a very different environment than my children are and many things have changed in the last 30 years. There has been a growing trend, which can reach obsession like proportions, of entertaining children and filling their days with every conceivable activity. There is also a higher perceived risk in local communities and, due to technological advances (in particular gaming aimed at children), children are leading a less active and more virtual existence.
It makes me sad that many children are not allowed to be children, to have fun and explore their environments. I think that risk taking and being able to recognise danger are important lessons for children to learn and will better prepare them for life. We seem to have become obsessed with wrapping our children up in cotton wool for fear of injury – either physical or psychological – and even getting wet or dirty. There is also the awful ‘blame’ culture which seems to have taken over as well.
There will always be differing opinions about what children should and shouldn’t be doing, added to by the “When I was a boy…..” brigade and the ‘experts’ who like to make clinical or unrealistic suggestions and judge. I think that parenting has become increasingly harder. Many families live without the support of an extended family close by; many families have both parents working. There is stronger media and materialistic pressure then there ever have been, as well as the community in which we live being nothing like it was when we were younger.
As a parent I feel really strongly that one of my responsibilities is to bring up children who are able to identify potential risks – through experience and trial and error – and who have learnt to be responsible for their actions and the real meaning of consequences. I want them to be independent, I want them to experience the thrill of being allowed out alone, and also to learn the self-control of when to say no and walk away. They won’t always get it right, and it will be hard when they do get it wrong. I don’t want my son to fall out of a tree and injure himself, but more important than that, I don’t want him to have a childhood without climbing trees.
What do you think? What do you let your children do and not do? What age is a good age to let them out alone? Will your children have a very different childhood to your own?
This article really struck a chord with me. My eldest is 6 years old and I can’t imagine letting him out to play on his own. His friend a few doors up and the same age, plays outside the front daily and never comes to any harm but I just know it will be a long time before I will allow it.
My children do have a lot of freedom. I work from the box room / office and they play in the garden, living room and their bedroom unsupervised regularly. This obviously leads to arguments, fights and injuries but boys will be boys.
I know it’s me being ove protective but in today’s society, I can’t justify letting any of my boys out the front to play. It’s like offering them up to the world and saying ‘do as you please with them’