Guest post by Elle Rose of ElleRose.co.uk
As a mum also juggling the chaos of parenting, I wanted to share why I choose positive parenting for my Toddler and 6-year-old. Through I guess trial and error, I’ve stumbled upon some positive parenting tips that have made life so much easier. From handling tantrums with patience to setting boundaries, these techniques have been my sanity savers. So, if you’re looking for some simple ideas on how to positively make it through raising these little ones in a simple yet effective way, then please have a read.
Firstly, what is Positive Parenting?
My idea of positive parenting is that it’s all about nurturing a loving and supportive relationship with my children while guiding them to become kind, responsible, and resilient individuals. It’s about being present for them, listening to their feelings, and helping them navigate life’s challenges with patience and understanding. Instead of using punishment or criticism, I believe in using positive reinforcement, praise, and setting clear boundaries to teach them right from wrong. It’s not about being a perfect parent, but about creating a safe and happy environment where my children can thrive emotionally, socially, and academically. Let’s be honest who doesn’t love hearing someone saying something nice to them?!
Being Positive Isn’t just a parenting style
Having a positive outlook on life isn’t just a parenting style for me—it’s a way of life that I choose to embrace fully, even with my young children. I believe in teaching them to see the beauty and joy in the little things, whether it’s spotting a rainbow while it rains, finding funny shapes in the clouds, or sharing giggles over currently (the silly salmon) . By cultivating positivity in our daily interactions, I hope to instill in them a mindset of gratitude, resilience, and optimism that will serve them well as they grow. It’s about teaching them to focus on the bright side, even when faced with challenges, and to approach life with a sense of curiosity, wonder, and endless possibility.
10 essential positive parenting tips for toddlers:
- Always Stay Calm: Toddlers can be challenging, but staying calm helps diffuse situations and model self-regulation. They are not doing anything to purposely upset you.
- Set Clear Boundaries: Setting boundaries to provide structure, stability and security for your toddler is extremely important.
- Positive Reinforcement: Praise and reward good behaviour to encourage positive habits and build self-esteem and confidence.
- Listening: Pay attention to your toddler’s feelings and needs, sometimes they can’t always get there point across, try validating their emotions.
- Redirect Instead of Punish: Instead of harsh punishment, redirect your toddler’s behaviour towards more appropriate activities.
- Encourage Independence: Allow your toddler to explore and make choices within safe boundaries, fostering autonomy and confidence.
- Be Patient: Toddlers are learning and developing rapidly, so take a breath and be patient and understanding during challenging moments.
- Respectful Communication: Show respect in your interactions with your toddler, teaching them how to communicate effectively and kindly.
- Consistent Routine: Predictable routines provide stability and security for toddlers, reducing anxiety and promoting cooperation.
- Take Care of Yourself: Parenting is demanding, so prioritise self-care to maintain patience, energy, and emotional well-being.
Some Examples of How I Positive Parent My Children
Example 1:
When my older son helped his little brother with a puzzle, I gave him a big pat on the back for being such a top big brother, showing kindness and patience.
Example 2:
Before heading to the park, I sat down with both boys and had a chat about the importance of sharing and taking turns. When they played nicely together, I gave them a thumbs-up for their teamwork. Also asking them to choose one more thing to play on before we go, helps them feel in charge and makes leaving so much easier.
Example 3.
Instead of what may feel like (to them) me dictating their bedtime routine, I let the boys do simple things like pick out their own PJs or choose their bedtime story. Again it gives them a bit of say in their evening and certainly makes bedtime less of a battle.
Example 4.
When one of the boys kicked off over not getting his favourite snack, I stayed cool and offered him 2 alternatives of healthier options. It helped him calm down without any shouting or fuss and again he could decide.
Example 5.
I have so many examples of how I choose to use positive parenting, but the last one has to be Teeth brushing. For so long we had meltdowns and tantrums until I was told about the 2 rule. Offer 2 choices, but both with the same outcome. Would you like to brush your teeth? Or should mummy do it for you? It still works every time.
Things to remember while trying to positive parent your Toddler
- Let’s start by taking deep breaths and giving ourselves a break. We’re all doing the best we can with our toddlers, and it’s okay to make mistakes sometimes.
- Instead of focusing on what went wrong, let’s try to catch our toddlers being good and praise them in positive ways. Even small victories deserve a high-five or a thumbs-up.
- When things get tough with our toddlers, let’s remind ourselves to stay calm and patient. Taking a moment to breathe and collect our thoughts can make a big difference in how we react to their behaviour.
- Let’s try to listen to our toddlers and understand where they’re coming from. Showing empathy and validation can go a long way in building trust and connection with them.
- And finally, let’s remember that every day is a fresh start in our journey of parenting toddlers. We have the power to choose how we respond to our toddlers, and we can always choose kindness and positivity in our interactions with them.
Why Positive Parenting Works so well for Toddlers:
Positive parenting is highly effective for toddlers because they focus on teaching and guiding rather than punishing. By emphasising positive reinforcement, realistic expectations, and respectful communication, these approaches help toddlers develop self-control, responsibility, and empathy.
Positive techniques like praise, rewards, and redirection offering a supportive environment where toddlers feel safe to learn and grow, while also strengthening the parent-child bond. This approach lays a foundation for healthy emotional development, good behaviour and positive relationships as toddlers navigate the challenges of early childhood.
My favourite Positive Parenting Affirmation…
“ I am a calm and positive guide for myself and my children, leading with love and understanding.”
…and the one I really say to myself…
“I am the Jedi Master of Toddler Taming, wielding patience like a lightsabre and using the Force to turn tantrums into tickle fights!”
Affirmations really help me throughout the day, so thought they might be worth sharing.
Practicing Gratitude during Toddler Tantrums
Practicing gratitude during toddler tantrums can help parents stay centered and maintain a positive perspective. Instead of getting overwhelmed by the challenging behaviour, parents can choose to focus on things they’re grateful for at the moment.
This is still something I struggle with, but continue to remind myself.
“I am grateful for my toddler having a tantrum because it’s a reminder that they are expressing their emotions and asserting their independence. It shows that they are learning and growing, developing their own sense of self and learning how to navigate the world around them. It’s also an opportunity for me to practice patience, empathy, and understanding as a parent. Through these challenges, I am given the chance to strengthen my bond with my child and teach them valuable coping skills for managing their emotions in healthy ways.”
Try not to laugh your way through reading this. I know that those hard moments with 2/3 year-olds are difficult. However, when I think of it from a different perspective it is so much easier to stay calm. They aren’t little people for long.
Finally…
Thank you for reading my post and I hope it helps you stay calm and positive while you parent your wonderful little toddlers and older children. These Positive parenting techniques really can help with children’s brain development, increase good behaviour, regulate children’s emotions, and really help create a happy and healthy family environment. So give it a go and let me know how you get on.
Also thank you to Debbie for letting me post on such a wonderful Blog.
To check out my blog please click here https://ellerose.co.uk/
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Love the Jedi quote! Staying calm and patient ALWAYS is extremely tough… perhaps even impossible! But the tips are overall good ones, and the affiramtions are very helpful, I find!