A journey to authentic living

A guest post by Carol Mae Whittick, Toastmasters International 

As we become more reliant on screened devices for communication, education, information, and entertainment we also need to be able to discern reality from the augmented, and facts from misinformation. I believe that the demand to understand and experience authenticity is a collective response to the increasingly artificial world we find ourselves in.

What does this mean for us as individuals? It starts by embodying our own authenticity, calibrating to our inner truth. But this takes some courage.

When you are living authentically, there is little middle ground, people will have strong reactions to you. Which is why it is easier to conform to societal expectations. Rejecting, or even questioning collective ideals can cost you relationships, jobs, and your reputation, especially in these days of ‘cancel culture’. 

It is a big choice to go against the tide and live life on your own terms.

Discovering My Passion

After briefly thinking I would like to be a pharmacist, to meet the expectation that I would work in the healthcare industry like the majority of my family – I changed my mind. Mostly because I’d developed a deep passion for creativity, especially music. 

As a young girl I was obsessed with pop music. Every Sunday I bargained with my mother to get a few hours listening to the Top 40 countdown on the radio. This was my weekly masterclass in studying the craft of songwriting, emulating what I heard and then honing my own style. 

Even though I clearly had musical talent, I faced constant resistance. No-one could see how music would provide a living. They probably thought I’d eventually tire of my pipe dream, find a real job, and do all the things I was ‘supposed’ to do. 

But that never happened. 

Recognising Compromise

Over the years I had many ‘real jobs’, and although I was mostly a diligent employee, I could never fully commit to them. To me they were always just a way to pay the bills, because the work would never excite me in the way that creating did. 

Eventually, I found a combination that seemed to work, a full-time position at a production company that allowed me time off for performing. All was fine for a while until those old familiar feelings of dissatisfaction and frustration returned. I knew I had to leave. 

Fate intervened and I was made redundant in July 2009. One enduring moment from that Tuesday morning reinforced my conviction that I needed to figure out how to live life on my terms. On arriving at work, all staff were called into a meeting and told by two strangers from an insolvency company that we no longer had jobs. The Managing Director slunk out of the room, avoiding making eye contact with anyone. 

While I could somewhat sympathise with his predicament, we had tolerated his erratic behaviour and worked hard for him, yet he could not even offer the basic courtesy of saying he appreciated our efforts. As one of his longest serving staff members, I had given three years of my life to build up his business and now had nothing to show for it. 

I was disappointed with myself for losing sight of my true goals and I decided that day to never again compromise my dream for someone else’s. 

Choosing Authenticity

Returning to what has always been true for me has meant shedding the many pretences I adopted to appease others. I got clear on what is non-negotiable in life, ready to stand firm against the inevitable resistance and judgement. 

There is so much external pressure to do, be and have, at particular moments in our lives, which I suspect contributes to the prevalence of anxiety in society. By placing so much value on external validation, people are hiding who they really are, building lives based on a false version of themselves. Their prevailing sense of unease is the part of them that knows something is wrong.

Honouring my childhood desires has made me happy. And they’re central to my work as a Creativity & Spiritual Life Coach, Podcaster and Writer. Living authentically gives me the confidence to take action when my intuition nudges me to try out new ventures.

Last year I joined the local Toastmasters club to master public speaking as I am inspired by great orators who are memorable because they are authentic. 

May your own journey to authentic living give you great satisfaction in your work and life in general. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Carol Mae Whittick is a member of Toastmasters International, a not-for-profit organisation that has provided communication and leadership skills since 1924 through a worldwide network of clubs. There are more than 400 clubs and 10,000 members in the UK and Ireland. Members follow a structured educational programme to gain skills and confidence in public and impromptu speaking, chairing meetings and time management. To find your nearest club, visit www.toastmasters.org.

You can get in touch with Carol at https://www.instagram.com/cazmick/