When we get on a plane, we are always told – “put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others“. It’s one of my favourite expressions
This is true in real life as well as when flying – we cannot be as effective in carrying out our parenting responsibilities if we are constantly exhausted, frazzled, or sick. Yet how many of us carry on regardless, past the point of exhaustion, and never take care of our own needs? Then we feel guilty when we snap at the children or become grumpy.
I can see a few hesitant hands going up at the back of the class…. yes, I do it too..
Health matters
It seems that sometimes, as a mum or a carer or both, our health and well-being come last. We spend so much of our time making sure everybody else is okay that we can easily neglect important aspects of our own health that could become problematic later on.Â
One such example of this is not attending regular medical checkups, including dentists, doctors and opticians’ appointments. All of these can be an issue, and what many people don’t realise is that eye health can be particularly problematic as it’s common for changes to occur in the eye from about the age of 40. Indeed, many people at this age require a change from regular glasses to a varifocal glasses prescription.
Even if you are trying to ignore or put off the ageing process, it is a good idea to accept this change if and when it happens to you, as there is no point in accepting suboptimal vision for the sake of vanity.
The good news is that even for those of us who need to be able to see long, near, and immediate distances through the same lenses, there are still some seriously stylish frames to choose from!
Alone time
Being a mum involves being near your children nearly all the time, at least for the first few years. However, we all need different levels of time alone to process our thoughts and function, and for those of us on the more introverted or neurodivergent spectrum, getting regular downtime isn’t a luxury but an essential.Â
With that in mind, coming up with a strategy that will allow you to get at least some time for yourself is an incredibly good idea. This may involve leaving your child with your partner or another trusted family member, dropping them off at an activity group, or even setting specific boundaries or certain times in the day.Â
For example, some mums have had success by consistently using the hours between three as quiet or nap time for everyone in the home. To do this successfully, it helps to take yourself away to your room with instructions to the kids that they can only disturb you in an emergency.
When my children were 6 and 4, at the hight of their energy and noisiness, I paid a babysitter once a week, and joined an amazing choir that rehearsed once a week in London, and I’m still a member now. The singing activity took me out of myself, and even the train there and back provided some much needed thinking and breathing space every week. If you have the opportunty for a regular escape, then take it – your family will be more likely to get the best of you, if you feel fulfilled.
Working out
Yes, I know that as an exhausted mum, sometimes it just feels impossible to dig up the energy needed for a workout. But the funny thing is that exercise is one of those things that gives you energy and boosts your mood when you do it. Now, I’m not saying that it can’t be tough to get over the initial inertia, but the reward is well worth it.Â
The great thing about exercising even as a busy mum is that it’s entirely possible to do alongside the kids. When they are young, a good walk or even a run with them in their stroller is the perfect solution.
When they get a bit older, you can start to exercise together with activities like mum and child yoga. Then you’ll not only be doing something for your own health and wellbeing but also setting an excellent early example for your little ones as well.Â
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