Do you find that as the autumn term drags on and the night s start getting longer and colder, that your children are more grumpy than normal when they come home from school? This is definitely my least favourite time of the year, and I remember my children struggling too in this boring cold bit before the Christmas festivities get underway in earnest.
Isabell Fisher co-founder of Little Hands Learning has some great ideas to make the most of the long dark evenings.
In the early days of parenthood, many parents imagine the time their little one starts school; there are visions of journeys back home from school filled with excited conversations about their child’s day. The reality can be very different. On a good day, I may get a grunt when I pick up my son. From talking to other parents and carers, this isn’t a unique experience. Young children can sometimes be proper little grumps. And to be honest it’s not surprising, since nursery and school are full on. All day our children have been following instructions, compromising with friends and their sensory systems have taken a battering. Remember how you feel after a long day at work!!
So, here’s how to help your child unwind.
Feed them
I quickly learned to give my son a snack as soon as he leaves school. The quicker I feed my son, the better. He will often have a sandwich, a piece of fruit, crackers, flapjack whatever it takes to prevent his blood sugar levels hitting rock bottom.
Don’t bombard them with chatter
I always ask my son how his day was but unless he offers up more than a “fine” I leave it at that.
I also don’t ‘chat’ about my day because when I have had a long day at work I don’t want to listen to someone else’s chatter. Sometimes we all just need and want some quiet time to switch off and decompress from everything that has happened. I have found it is the same with my son. I have noticed that as he relaxes from his day at school, he slowly offers up more and more nuggets of information. I relish every one of these.
Give them space and time
When we first get back from school, my son does exactly what he wants; colouring, TV, running around the garden. Whatever will help him to start to unwind. I often find that after he’s had some time, he will want to do something together.
Give them control
From the moment our children wake up they have been told what to do: brush your teeth; eat your breakfast; sit down; eat lunch, etc. So, give them some control back and allow them to be in charge of what they get up to after school.
At home we have a jar filled with lolly sticks, and on each lolly stick I have included simple after school activities that I know my son enjoys. So that when he is ready, he can choose an activity for us to do together (or separately if he prefers).
All of these activities are open-ended; they have no rules and there is no right or wrong way to interact with them. Now is not the time for handwriting, phonics or sums!
The activities on the sticks include:
Playdough
Playing with playdough is a wonderful way to release tension and can calm stress away. Add cinnamon, rosemary, jasmine to your playdough to give the activity an extra calming element.
Waterplay
Water play is wonderfully open-ended and there is no right or wrong way to engage with it. It doesn’t need to be complicated. Simply fill a deep tray or a basin with water and add some jars and ladles and pour water from one jar to the other.
Reading
There is something really soothing about someone reading to you. Let them choose the book, cuddle up on the sofa together and escape to wherever the story is set.
Small World
Small world play is a wonderful way for children to act out and process any difficult situations that may have happened. So just put out some playdough and some figures and see where you both end up.
A walk
Getting some fresh air can help us all feel calmer and happier. If my son chooses to go for a walk after school, he is the one to choose which direction we head in. We often return with our pockets full of various natural treasures. Even in the cold, the dark or the wet, a brief walk can provide an interesting sensory experience, if you wrap up well.
Arts and craft
My son enjoys arts and crafts after school, and when his hands are distracted with drawing or crafting, he will often share more about his day. Doodling, colouring, painting with watercolours and cutting and sticking can all offer creative outlets to destress. However, my son will stop the activity and move away if I give him too much direction about what he is creating. The process is much more important than the end product.
Don’t take it personally
You will see the very worst of your children because you are their safe space, and they know that you will love them no matter what. They are showing you how they feel through their behaviour because they love you. Remember you are the person that your children can show their vulnerability, frustration, and anger to.
However, parents are human and there will be times when my son is shouting and stomping his feet that I will be hiding in the fridge, desperately shoving chocolate (or wine) in my mouth whilst banging my head against the wall. So don’t beat yourself up if you too find yourself in the fridge from time to time!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Isabell Fisher is co-founder of Little Hands Learning, an educational and eco-friendly subscription box for children aged three and over. Every month your child will receive an exciting gift in the post containing a beautiful book and everything needed for engaging and fun activities linked to the book.
The fun and meaningful activities are designed by teachers to focus on key areas of the National Curriculum. The curated books together with the activities help nurture healthy minds and encourage literacy skills, giving children the best start to their education.
Website: www.littlehandslearning.co.uk
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/littlehandslearninguk
Instagram: @littlehandslearninguk
Pinterest: www.pinterest.co.uk/littlehandslearninguk/TikTok: @littlehandslearning
TikTok: @littlehandslearning
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